Life After Your Child's Diagnosis!

Diagnosis!  This is the word that everyone seems to shun, run from or it’s often the big elephant in the room!  We all know it’s there, however, no one wants to talk about it.  What will people think?  What does this mean?  What do I do now?

Just before a parent finds themselves sitting in the office of a Child Developmental Pediatrician or Child Psychologist; there are a million thoughts that run rampant within us.  As humans we tend to over analyze the process, of how we reached the point of where we are at.  We review in detail each and every event that has taken place, to bring us here at this very moment.  How many times are any of these emotions or thoughts, from the previous events, which took place positive?  It is often described as a completely chaotic journey, which seems to have no end to it.

As a parent we consume all of our energy, time and love raising our child.  The most agonizing part of the diagnosis is that a competent, licensed professional is seeing a snapshot of your child.  We the parent know our child, we know all of the beautiful qualities they possess; their strengths, abilities and most of all their exquisite soul. 

Ultimately we know that the report will be coming to us with a label.  No matter how equipped we might be to accept the label it is always a shock upon receiving it.  It is very much a loss we are suffering or a grieving process that we must undergo.  The reality is; we have received a piece of paper or a diagnostic report.  The child standing before us that we have nurtured, loved, praised and cherished is still the same child before the diagnosis.  A beautiful way to view your child’s journey is like peonies flower; each petal individually opens until a beautiful flower bursts forth.

The most important part of life after your child’s diagnosis; is putting together the resources that best meet the needs of your child.  There are a multitude of resources available; the key is to find the right fit.  It is important to discover what really works; effective techniques, tools and therapy that are a slam dunk giving your child the results that they need.  Trust in yourself, knowing that there is no one more competent, to spear head the journey of success when it comes to your child.

The journey after diagnosis is one which will have many forks in the road, or you may be faced with what may seem to be road blocks.  The list of various agencies that are often used at one time or another can be overwhelming.  Dealing with school officials can also be tremendous, and often result in the feeling of being beaten down or crushed.  Having said this you are not alone, it is completely possible to have a team of individuals working with your child.  Continue to advocate with strength knowing that you will most likely not be popular, however, you will find yourself winning the journey of success.

Each human has a dharma or destiny to fulfill. At times what seems hurtful, or the hardest challenge, often results in the ultimate blessing.  Allow yourself the ability to steer forward leading the way for your child; know that your magnificent, beautiful child will fulfill their own destiny successfully.

There is a life after diagnosis.

How it all Began!

About 6 years ago we sent our beautiful child to preschool.  At the time we knew that there were speech delays and high levels of anxiety, however, as a parent and even more so as a Mother you continually look at your child with adoration, love and see their magnificence.

What I did not realize was the journey I had begun was one which would be emotionally, physically and financially taxing.  The only way for me to describe this journey was like being on a raft in the middle of a raging river travelling about 500 km per hour!

We were told by the preschool our child was at, that these challenges were a possible problem (I am in no way discrediting the preschool).  We received feedback that we needed to consider a Psychological Assessment, Speech Therapy and ABA or IBI.

The word Autism, ADHD, Aspergers, Learning Disability and the list goes on; these labels are freely used by many people.  As the parent you know your child best, you see them through a filter of love, you also see all aspects of them.  I heard the label Autism many times by many people over the past 6 years.  We began the whole process of therapy.  Along the way we met many loving caring people who were genuine.  We also met many people who knew that we had a weak spot and used the situation to their advantage.

After exhausting a large sum of money, time, energy and let’s not forget the toll on my physical health, I decided to take charge.  I knew that my child; was creative, happy, and had a sense of humour, however, needed help.  I realized we needed to get to the root of the problem!  We needed to find tangible techniques and therapy that really worked.

It’s unbelievable the strength you have when you decide to make something happen.  It came to me that for whatever reason the universe had allowed this journey to come to me.  I knew that this was necessary not only to help my child, on the other hand, also to lead the way for others in this situation.

My first course of action was to forgive myself and clear the negative emotions of what if… What if I took more vitamins?  What if I had taken those omega fatty acids?  What if I read more to my child instead of mopping the floors?  What if I….  The list goes on with the What if’s.

Once I cleared these negative emotions, in a sense forgave myself, I knew I could repair my emotional health.  I knew that advocating was going to be a difficult journey; I was in a way embarking on a huge war.  In spite of this, I knew that there was no one more competent and knowledgeable when it came to my child.

There have been many ups and downs, tears shed, anger and frustration.  During the whole process, I continued to keep my focus on the end result.  In these last 6 years, my son has exceeded and surpassed everything we were told that he would not be able to do.  I continue to advocate for him, knowing that I am the best person to do this.  I can say that I have not won the popularity contest, but we are at the forefront of the journey.

My words of empowerment are given with love.  When faced with this situation, know that you can advocate, there are alternative techniques and therapies.  Don’t be afraid to seek out other resources.  Don’t be afraid to advocate and ask questions no matter who it is you are speaking to, no matter what their credentials are.

To your success and empowerment!

Teresa Scaini

Anchor Your Success
www.anchoryoursuccess.com